El Mercado de San Miguel- Night 2, Something New

Whenever you go back to visit a place you haven't been in a while there is always something new and different.  Things get torn down.  Shops close.  New shops open.   Buildings get erected out of nowhere.   The only hope is that this new thing is something cool and unique.  There's nothing worse when you return to a place and find that your favorite deli or restaurant was replaced by a 7/11 or Starbucks. (The horror)

On the second day in Madrid I got to talking to the receptionist in the hotel.  After a brief conversation I mentioned I lived here years ago and of course she said that many things have changed in the last 8 years.  One thing she recommended I check out was El Mercado de San Miguel.  It opened 2 years ago and she described it as basically a big food area where you can sample different dishes and drink various wines from all over Spain.  It was also open to 12am on weekdays and 2am on weekends.  "It's not cheap but very good"' was her last comment before I set off for the day.

Now in my head I had already planned where we would eat for the four nights.   The market wasn't one of them so I put it on the back burner. But after a few hours of strolling the city center I was leaving the Plaza Mayor on the west side and a block away was a huge new structure I had never seen before.  It's a wrought iron frame with windows all around the rectangular complex.  Without trying we had stumbled upon el Mercado de San Miguel.  "Let's just have a look"- aren't those just famous words.   My 4 night plan was suddenly altered.  The minute I got inside I was surrounded by food and smells from every direction. I knew I had no chance of restraint.

Let's start with some oysters washed down with a Galician Albarino.

Now maybe some Pulpo Gallego.

I think i'll have some Angulas with shrimp.

Now some meat as we switch to Rioja.  Jamon anyone?

There's also a cheese stall, an olive stall, a caviar stall, bocadillos- just about every Spanish food is in here. None of the plates are expensive but go in hungry and you won't be able to stop yourself and all the samplings will add up in the end.

The wine bar is impressive.  3 euro for a glass of Crianza, 4 euro for a Reserva.  You can try glasses from every region in Spain. If you really want to go for it you can try a Vega Sicilia for 30 euro a glass.

And the place is fun.  There are few seats, mostly high tables that you stand around and eat.  Finish one plate and wander off to another stall and bring back something new.  It's loud but not too loud.  It's just full of atmosphere in that great Spanish way.  Maybe that is the best thing about it.  The food isn't the best in Madrid but what it lacks in quality is more than made up for by just being in there.  It's a place to eat, drink and talk about eating and drinking- what can be better?

Here's a little video I took.  It's not the best but you get the sounds and visuals of the place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s2UzDCygRs

If you're in Madrid you must check this place out.

La Gloria de Montera- My Old Favorite

Ah...Madrid, or Madreeth as the Madrileños pronounce it.  There's nothing like walking around the center of Madrid and its' labryinth of side streets.  New, hip and trendy areas pop up throughout the city but Sol will always be the pulsating heart of the city- where tourists and locals converge to stroll the Plaza Mayor, gorge on Spanish cuisine and take in the beauty that is Madrid at night. 

On the plane ride over I decided where I would be dining that evening.  I used to eat at the place at least 3 times a month back when I lived in Madrid.  It is possibly one of the best value restaurants I have ever visited and also one of the most surreal dining experiences you can have.  It begins with the walk to the restaurant.  From Sol you go up the busy Calle Montera.  Whether you live in Madrid or are just visiting, you will undoubtedly find yourself walking up this street to the Gran Via many times.  As you stroll up the gradual incline you will soon realize the block is lined with prostitutes.  Not just at 2am, but in middle of the day, in the very center of Madrid.  It seems strange but do not be put off by this. The locals and their children walk right by the scantily clad women during the day without a glance.  It’s a little shocking at first but you get used to it.  You kind of have to, especially when your restaurant is just around the corner.  Maybe that is part of the allure of Madrid, a virtual feast for the senses- witnessing death at the Plaza de Toros, seeing sex for sale in broad daylight and consuming food and wine in copious amounts at every turn.  I'm back in Madrid. 

Welcome to Calle Montera.

And welcome to La Gloria de Montera.
 

  

My roomate brought me here for the first time back in 2002.  Having taken the aforementioned stroll I was a little skeptical, (who wouldn't be), but three courses and a shared bottle of wine later I was instantly hooked.  To put it simply, the quality of food is unbeatable at their prices especially in city center Madrid.  The dining room will make you struggle with reality as you gaze from the inexpensive prices on the menu to the elegant surroundings.  And it is always packed, always. They don't take reservations. If there isn’t a table ready then go and have a glass of wine on calle Montera, they will call you when one opens up and the wait is never long.  The prices will amaze you- steak for 7.50(euro), confit of duck for 8, nothing over 10. When the food comes you will be more amazed. At those prices you might expect an alarmingly low quality but all of the dishes are first class and the portions are big.

So how can they afford to serve such great food at such prices?  Well they have mastered, and I mean mastered the art of turnover. You go in, sit down, eat, drink, and get out.  If you want to go and spend 2 hours over dinner socializing with your friends then don’t go to Gloria de Montera. Your waiter will distribute the menus without saying hello and return to take your order before you get off the appetizer page. If you are not ready yet he will be visibly agitated- so prepare yourself  for his return visit in precisely one minute. If the waitstaff makes eye contact with you consider yourself lucky.  In fact you will probably get more eye contact from the prostitutes on the walk to the restaurant than you will from any of the waitstaff during your meal. The staff  race around like tuned robots, rushing to serve food and barrage the kitchen with orders at a frantic pace. They don’t have time to be friendly or the restaurant would fail. At these prices they have to pump out the food.  And they pump it out. The service is fast and efficient, just don't expect the obligatory "Is everything ok?" after they have dropped your first course.   But they work hard, get the food to your table fast and are right there when you are looking for the bill. You don't need someone smiling at you  when you are eating this good at these prices.

                                                                (Salmon Carpaccio)

8 years away from Madrid and the restaurant hasn't changed a bit.  The menu is virtually a copy of when I left in 2003, proof that when something is working perfectly don‘t mess with it.  Ok, so they don’t have the friendliest waitstaff.  But the place was, as always, packed with diners who were willing to forego the niceties of warm service.  At the end of the day who really cares if your waiter smiles if you are eating like a king and paying street food prices.

Our meal:

2 glasses of white wine
1 Salmon Carpaccio
1 Baby Octopus and Potato

1 Bottle of Rioja
1 Fillet of Beef
1 Confit of Duck

1 Cafe con Leche

Total Bill: 48 Euro!
Stomach full, wallet still full.

Back to Madrid

I'm off to Madrid tomorrow.  I have my restaurants all planned out and will be giving a report after each night.(Well, in the morning.)   I'm flying with Iberia for a change.  Their prices were better than Ryanair AND you get to check luggage at no extra cost, which I won't do on the way there but will on the way back with a suitcase full of wine, olive oil and shhhh!- a load of jamon and chorizo!)

It's a Small, Small, Burger Filled World.

I can't remember the exact details of how I wound up on a childrens' amusement ride, but it was after a long night out with some friends.  It was about 7am.  I just wanted to grab some breakfast and go home, but no one else was ready for bed.  (Spanish nights can last very long.)  I thought maybe we would just sit in a park and watch the sun come up.  But no, too simple.  Some braniac came up with the idea to go ride the Madrid rollercoaster.  Before I realised it, I was on a rollercoaster, upside down, struggling to hold on to last nights' beer. Then off to the next ride, something slow after the gut wrenching coaster.   It's now 9:30am, I haven't been to bed and I find myself on "Fantasia", the Spanish version of "It's a Small World".  So I'm going around this thing looking at the stereotypical scenes from around the world.  You know the ones- a Parisian cafe with Moulin Rouge, Indian men wearing Pagris with the Taj Mahal as a backdrop, Egyptians all looking like King Tut climbing pyramids...etc,etc,etc.  Next up, the United States. And what's the scene?  It's the Statue of Liberty holding a can of coke in one hand and an oversized hamburger in the other hand.  Now I know these are stereotypes, i'm fine with that,  but all the other scenes are kind of nice.  The US one is...well to me, it's embarrassing.  That is our stereotyped contribution to the world.  The land of burgers and coke.

It's a shame really, because at its core, American food is the blending of so many different cultures.  With the merging of cultures food diversity was, and is, as varied as anywhere in the world.  The Spanish brought pigs from Europe and Native Americans showed them how to smoke it.  This eventually became the great Barbeque of the American south.  Settlers of Texas and Arizona fused their cooking with Mexicans to create Tex-Mex and just about every european nation contributed to what is the Creole style of Louisiana.  In other parts of the country americans passed on the culinary traditions of their emigrated ancestors.  It is a large country and the regional styles are endless.  Anywhere I have travelled in the United States people are passionate about their style of cooking.  So why the bad stereotype?
Well, we ate too much fast food and got really, really fat.   When you have a nation of fat people you can understand why the rest of the world assumes your diet and knowledge of food is laughable.  

People love to use the excuse that America is such a hard working nation that people don't have time to cook and eat well.  Then explain Japan.  The Japanese work a lot harder and have the highest life expectancy in the world.  This stems from the fact that the Japanese have the best diet in the world- it is part of their culture, their way of life. It's quite simple, countries that eat well and have a passion for food live longer. Put it this way, the Michelin guide recently went to Japan to publish its first book on the nation.  The Michelin inspectors are the toughest in the world and no one knew how the Japanese restaurants would rate. Paris, the perennial frontrunner, had 65 Michelin starred restaurants.  New York was behind Paris with 57 and London had 51. And Japan?

1- Tokyo with 197
2- Kyoto with 85
3(tie)- Osaka with 65

They took the top 3 spots.  And not by just a little.  And in 2011 Tokyo beat Paris for the most 3 star restaurants in a city 14 to 10.  It is no coincidence that Japanese food rates so high and that its people live so long.  Not that the whole of society in Japan is eating in these restaurants but it shows a clear passion for food as a nation.  Tokyo alone has 160,000 restaurants.  Everywhere I walk in New York there is a restaurant and it has only 19,000.  Paris has 15,000.  It is like a trickle down theory, if the consumers demand such a high quality in their restuarants you can be sure that the art of cuisine is imbedded within the common household, passed down through the generations.  This holds true for all the so called food nations.  So do the amount of Michelin starred restaurants show a link to a countries' health?  In Japan this is obvious as the world leaders in life expectancy.

Rank	Country State/territory)	Life expectancy at birth (years) Overall	Life expectancy at birth (years) Male	Life expectancy at birth (years) Female
1	Japan	82.6	78.0	86.1
2	Hong Kong	82.2	79.4	85.1
3	Iceland	81.8	80.2	83.3
4	Switzerland	81.7	79.0	84.2
5	Australia	81.2	78.9	83.6
6	Spain	80.9	77.7	84.2
	Sweden	80.9	78.7	83.0
7	Israel	80.7	78.5	82.8
	Macau	80.7	78.5	82.8
	France	80.7	77.1	84.1
	Canada	80.7	78.3	82.9
8	Italy	80.5	77.5	83.5

France, Italy and Spain are the European leaders in Michelin Stars.
Everyone on this list has Michelin starred restaurants except Iceland and Australia.

The United States ranks 36th in the world for life expectancy. 
Here's the interesting thing: New York ranks 19th among the 50 states.  But if you take New York City alone, with its 57 Michelin starred restaurants, we see a different picture.  New York City by itself has a higher life expectancy than any of the other states in mainland USA.  So despite the fast paced, stressful life of New York, its inhabitants live longer than the rest of the country.

36

United States

78.3

75.6

80.8

             New York City        79.4                               76.3                             82.0

The country as a whole is embracing a newfound passion for food.  One only has to turn on the television to witness this.  Celebrity chefs are treated like gods.  New cooking shows pop up by the second.  Masterchef has a huge following.  Rachel, forgive me for saying it, Ray, is a superstar.

Obviously many other factors determine a nations' life expectancy: Poverty, war, climate, healthcare, etc.  But there is no denying that countries, and cities, that push their food standards to the highest levels will live longer.  I don't think the United States will ever shake off the stigma of a fast food nation, but it is clearly becoming recognized not only as a sightseeing destination but a place to come if you want to experience the most ethnically diverse food in the world. 



Sources: Wikipedia, Worldlifeexpectancy.com, The Michelin Guide

Who's Got Fresh Fish? Casa Violeta does.

It goes without saying that as seafood lovers we demand the freshest of fish to be served to us.  As Anthony Bourdain says in Kitchen Confidential,  "I never order fish on Monday, unless I'm eating at a four-star restaurant where I know they are buying their fish directly from the source."  Why?  Well most fish markets are closed on the weekend, meaning a lot of restaurants are serving their delivery from thursday or friday on monday.  Not to worry if you're eating at Le Bernardin but possibly worrying if you're eating at a place that's offering a fish special on Monday from the fish they couldn't get rid of over the weekend. 

Not too long ago I used to eat the freshest of fish caught by....well, me.  I used to fly fish a river just over an hour drive north of New York City.  Now don't get me wrong, I do practise catch and release fishing...95% of the time.  But once and a while I kept a few for eating.  There's nothing like eating a rainbow or brown trout only a couple of hours out of the water.  Throw in a nice white wine and it's as good as anything you will eat in a restaurant.  But most people can't go wading into the local stream or motor out into the ocean everytime we want super fresh fish.  The "Farm to Fork" movement has become big but I prefer  "Sea to Mouth."  Recently in Mexico I had just that.

If you're ever in Tulum, Mexico, you must go eat at a place called Casa Violeta.  I was sitting on the beach reading a book when this happened right in front of me. 

I saw a small fishing boat go by when somebody from Casa Violeta, the restaurant just down the beach from me, came out and flagged them down.  They pulled up to the beach and one of the workers from Casa Violeta went down to meet them.

He then made a couple of trips up to the restaurant with this:

Of course I went running over to the boat to check it out.  Full Of Lobsters!

It goes without saying that we dined there that evening and another time before we left.  I talked to the manager, Tom, who is from New York.  Through some connections he had in NY he met the owners of this restaurant.  They were struggling a bit and asked him to come down and turn it around.  He has done a great job.  For some odd reason the owners had wanted it to be a pseudo Italian joint and the Mexican cooks were having a tough time.  He returned the style to seaside Mexican cooking and seeing that boat pass by everyday decided it would be great to buy the local catch from them.  They serve a Parrillada, basically a seafood mixed grill and it was as good as any I have ever had.

When you dig into that, life is good and meaningful.  Add a cold white wine and it is heaven.

In Search of the Perfect Chicken Nugget

My ten year old niece spent last summer at my house.  Probably like a lot of kids her age it's difficult finding  food that she will eat without a complaint.  Night after night I would cook the most basic of dinners in an effort to get her to eat a nutritious meal.  It was always a struggle, almost a nightmare.  But on the rare occasion we took her out to eat there was something she would shove down her throat without a whisper of negativity.  Whether we went for Chinese, Indian or just typical Irish pub fare, you could be sure there would be "chicken nuggets and chips" on the kids' menu.  This nutritionally perfect culinary delight was on every kids' menu I looked at.  This gave me an idea.  I would make chicken nuggets at home and we could avoid the nightly battle to get her to eat.  I bought some chicken breast, sliced it up into nice chunks, dipped them in flour, then egg, then my own seasoned breadcrumbs and then pan fried them in some vegetable oil.  Guess what?  She hated them.  I tasted one to see if I could actually screw up chicken nuggets.  But they tasted great.  Still, she wouldn't eat them.  "They're not like the ones i'm used to!" she would complain.  So it became my mission to seek out this nugget recipe that is universally devoured by children.  The recipe that is used in every fast food place from here to Tokyo.  The same recipe that is used in every frozen nugget section of every supermarket in every corner of the world.  After months of searching I finally persuaded a French michelin star chef to let me in on the secret to this perfect dish.  So without futher ado, here it is:

The Perfect Chicken Nugget

Ingredients:

-A large amount of chicken SKIN
-A bunch of chicken Carcasses (Make sure all meat is removed BUT leave the feet and nails intact, also leave any ligaments or sinew hanging off the bone)
-Sugar   (1 cup per carcass)
-Emulsifying gums
-Polyphosphates
-Soya Protein
-Hydrolyzed Proteins (from pork or beef hide)
-Water
-Some generic batter
-Stale breadcrumbs

*For best results DO NOT use the skin and carcass of an organic chicken.  Use the chickens food producers use. The ones that live the 5 weeks of their lives in a cage shoulder to shoulder with other chickens, their breasts so chemically overgrown that their legs cannot support their weight so they waddle around in their own feces.  This helps to flavor the skin you will be using.

-Put your chicken skin through a mincer or meat grinder (a sausage maker will work) and grind the skin down to a jelly-like substance.

-Next we need to process our carcasses so we have "MRM", this is an abbreviation for "mechanically recovered meat".  In a food processing plant the carcasses are basically passed through a strong mesh screen.  Everything is mechanically pushed through, turning the bones, the feet, the nails and any bits that were hanging off the meatless bones into, well, "goo".  Most people will not have one of these machines in their home so I came up with a solution that works for me.  Get a triple layer of heavy duty black garbage bags, throw in your chicken carcasses and tie a good knot at the top.  Make sure you get all the air out so the bag doesn't pop.  Now take the bag of carcasses out to your driveway and run over the bag with your car about a hundred times.  If you have a small or compact car you may need to repeat another hundred times.  A minivan packed with children works great.  This should replicate the "goo" of MRM.

-Now dump your skin jelly and carcass goo into a bread mixer and set the speed to low.  At this stage you want to add the same amount of water as you have jelly and goo.  50/50 water to jelly/goo should be perfect.   Remember, we want to get our monies worth so the water will double our output and make these products go a long way.

-Add Sugar, Don't be shy.  We need to sweeten that jelly goo.

-Now add your Emulsifying gums and polyphosphates.  This will bind our mix together and give it gummy like texture.

-Add the hydrolyzed proteins.  This will ensure the water is retained even during cooking.

-Add the Soya Protein. This is a key part in our mixing.  The soya protein will turn our jelly/goo/gummy mixture into a meat-like texture.  Very important since there is absolutely no meat in our mix.

-Remove from mixer.  With a mold resembling a nugget, or with your hands, form nuggetlike shapes.  I strongly suggest wearing rubber gloves.  You do not want to get this on your skin.  The smell will last for days.  (Never mind the risk of infection.) 

-Get your oil ready.  In a deep fat fryer or heavy based frying pan bring your oil to frying temperature.  To replicate factory frying conditions I recommend the following:
          -use very old cooking oil.  Everytime you use olive oil or vegetable oil save it in a jar, don't worry how long it sits.  Remember, in a factory they fry tens of thousand in the same oil, so you need to have it dirty for best results.

-Dip nugget molds into batter, then breadcrumbs, and fry for 1-2 minutes.  Take out and serve immediately, preferably swimming in the nice hot oil.

You do not need to serve this with vegetables.  I have never seen "chicken nuggets and chips" served with a vegetable.  Apparantly it contains enough of the essential vitamins and minerals to just serve on its own.  Surely it is the perfect meal for a child- one that will help their concentration in school, provide energy for their growing bodies and aid in warding off future cancers.  ENJOY!

It's TA now, not T&A

Imagine you own a restaurant. Or a hotel. Or a bar. Or even a scooter rental agency. Do you want some great free advertising? Well ask your Mom for a list of who will be coming over for Thanksgiving. Then in December ask for a Christmas list. Family reunion coming up? Get a list. If you have a large family your list will be getting pretty long by now. Now just write a small letter to everyone on your list. You can make it generic and just change the name on top. When you see them at these family functions just pass out your letters and ask if they could do you a favor. They’re family, right?  They won’t be offended. In this letter kindly ask the recipient to write you a sparkling review on the “be all and end all” review site of the world, Tripadvisor. Known just as TA to travel enthusiasts.  If you can get 40 people to do this you’ll probably wind up in the top 5 on Tripadvisor. Even if 15 real reviewers bash your place, guess what? You’ll probably still be ranked in the top 10. This will significantly promote your business among the throngs of Americans, and the rest of the world for that matter, who treat Tripadvisor as the Bible of travel. Those who wouldn’t dare go anywhere until they have read a review by Johnny Numbnuts from Backass, Nowhere.  You get into the top 3 in a big city and you could be set for life.  So you can just imagine to what lengths businesses will go to boost their Tripadvisor status.  They'll fake it.  But this idea is not original, everyone who owns a business does it. Just as you can be sure competitors in the same area will use bad reviews to diminish each others status. A business is ranked higher than you? They may be better or they may just have more friends than you. Who knows? The point is that probably half (if not more) of what you read on Tripadvisor is just a fabrication. Reviews written by people who have never eaten in that restaurant, slept in that hotel, sipped a cocktail in that bar or ridden on the death trap of a scooter that you are now convinced is safe.

But let’s be honest, we’re never going to stop looking at Tripadvisor. And as skeptical as I am to the validity of some of the reviews I still use it all the time.  My wife loves Tripadvisor and actively writes about her hotel and restaurant experiences. And she has found some great places using it. So I have a few words of advice when using Tripadvisor. Take a look at who wrote the review, not just the review itself. If they have only given a one off review then I just don't trust it. The Tripadvisor faithful tend to write often and you can look at other places they have visited and written about. Which is always a good thing. Look at where they like to travel or eat; do you like these places? Also have a look at where the reviewer is from. Being from New York, I tend to read more closely if the reviewer is also from New York. Not because New York is better, but I’m sure a guy from Brisbane, Australia will have more in common with a fellow Brisbanian than someone from Santiago, Chili. You get me? Also look at the age group. (There is a reason there are these categories).  I don’t think a gaggle of 25 year old girls on a drunken hen weekend are a good reference if you are an older couple looking for a quiet getaway. Yeah, they could give it the best review ever, but really, need I say more. So we'll never abandon Tripadvisor altogether. But it has been corrupted over the years and it is no longer the unbiased review forum that it used to be, if it ever really was.
If you don’t believe me have a look: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/republic-of-ireland/irish-hotel-told-staff-to-fake-tripadvisor-reviews-14991108.html  They were just stupid enough to get caught.
I have to go. I'm going to Mexico in December and my hotel is 6th! on TA.  I just need to read a few more reviews.

"Get me home so i can write my review!"